Sometimes the Truth Hurts and Sometimes it Doesn’t

Sometimes you just have to let go of what's go...

Sometimes you just have to let go of what’s gone, appreciate what still remains, and look forward to what’s coming next. (Photo credit: deeplifequotes)

Accepting the truth that we are naturally “sometimes” creatures can sometimes be liberating!

In “Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most,” co-authors Douglas Stone and Bruce Patton wrote, “No one is always anything.” They argue that humans’ identities are complex and those of us who accept our innate complexity can shift away from an unrealistically simple “all-or-nothing” view of who we are and notice it is easier to accept certain troubling and complex aspects of our personalities.   Stone and Patterson state, “When you hold yourself to an all-or nothing standard, even a small mistake can seem catastrophic and almost impossible to admit.”

How does embracing our “sometimesness” ease our inner judgment? We can accept we sometimes make mistakes and we sometimes do better than others.  We sometimes try hard and sometimes we don’t.  We may desire and value being a good, ethical person who sometimes doesn’t live up to one’s own standards. We can accept our complexity and give ourselves a giant break!

A “sometimes” orientation embraces our humanity and allows us to forgive ourselves when we sometimes don’t do as well as we would like to do.  Doing something bad doesn’t necessarily make one a bad person.  One might be a great person who sometimes does bad things.

Does enough truthful evidence exist to convict you of living as a “sometimes” creature? If so, how can your self-evaluations of your thoughts and behaviors and judgments of others change if you accept that humans (including you) are complex and so are sometimes creatures by nature.

I suggest we try to put the word, “always” on a use with extreme caution list. When we say “always,” we risk exaggerating or worse, being highly inaccurate.

I am now a card-carrying. life member of the “sometimes” club. It’s free and freeing to join!  Sometimes it leads people to start living their lives, FIRED UP!


About Andrew W Dix, MS, BCC
Author, Board Certified Executive Business Coach, Trainer, Reiss Motivation Profile Master and Private Pilot. Expertise in motivational intelligence, leadership development, strengths, management, coaching, and change management. Available for keynote addresses.

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