Positively Frustrated

Cover of "Who Am I?: The 16 Basic Desires...

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Frustration signals that something one values or needs is being or has been denied or unsatisfied. When one is not able to get what one wants, needs and desires in the form and/or quantity that one wants, one feels frustrated.

Psychologist, Dr. Steven Reiss, Ph.D., a recognized expert on human wants and needs, studies and writes extensively about how human beings are motivated to try to satisfy our strongest needs/desires. The stronger the need–the stronger the sense of frustration one feels if the need is not fully satisfied. Reiss has written two wonderful books on motivation, “Who Am I?” and “The Normal Personality.” He also developed the Reiss Motivation Profile®, a tool to help discover and understand one’s primary wants, needs, desires and motivations in life.

Once one fully understands ones’ strongest needs, then one can discover what combination of these unsatisfied needs is causing the frustration. One can then develop alternative strategies to satisfy one’s need or accept that one’s need must go unsatisfied for a time and reduce one’s frustration.

Think of frustration as your mental check engine light on your life well-being dashboard. When the frustration light is on, you are not satisfied with something you genuinely need as a part of your nature.

As Reiss Motivation Profile® Master, I can give you a profile and guide you in interpreting your results. Then you can listen to what your frustration is trying to tell you and make positive changes in how you are seeking to satisfy your needs and live your unique good life.

You can contact me at andy@lifematchesbook.com to get your Reiss Motivation Profile® and personal telephone consultation to discuss your results.

Listening to your frustrations can help you get what you want, in the amount that you want and when you do, you will be living Fired Up!

Click this link to download a free e-book from Dr. William J. Knaus, “How to Conquer Your Frustrations.”

Is it fun being you?

English: Patrouille de France at RIAT 2004.

What are you doing when having the most fun being you? Find it and find your true self.

When is it the most fun to be you?

Once you discover what, where and when you are having the most fun being the most you, then you can plan how to have more fun being more fully you more often.

Is it time for some fun you time?

Living Fired Up by using your strengths to fulfill your strongest needs and desires is when you will have the most fun being you. A Reiss Motivation Profile® is a proven way to identify what you need most to be the most you. If you would like to have your own Reiss Motivation Profile®, e-mail me at andy@lifematchesbook.com. You can complete it in about 30 minutes online and receive a live telephone consultation session with me to review your profile and discuss using your strengths to Fire Up your life!

Your investment in a Reiss Motivation Profile® profile report and confidential consultation session is $90 via PayPal®. (US clients only due to licensing restrictions). I give all the fee, less resource costs, to CHADD.org, the national non-profit organization to help people with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD).

How to Develop Self-Discipline

Time management matrix as described in Merrill...

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Two people both know what he/she would like to achieve. Both have the knowledge, skills and talent to meet his/her goal.  Both have the same amount of time and resources to complete the goal. Why does one person act in ways that builds a path to success while the other person never gets started?  Sufficient self-discipline is often the defining difference.

Think of self-discipline as CHOOSING to THINK and BEHAVE consistent with your plan to make your goal and mission. It’s a combination of habits which allow you to delay immediate gratification, endure hardships, ignore temptation, fear, cynicism, criticism and judgment long enough to complete the necessary work which moves towards goal attainment.

Self-discipline is CHOOSING  not to put off until tomorrow, what needs to be done today.  It’s listening to your conscience and actually doing what it tells you to do.

Self-discipline is really hard to keep up.  So, how do we get better at it?

Recent psychological research suggests that our self-discipline is similar to a muscle.  With practice, we can all increase our self-discipine’s strength like any other skill.

Steps to Build Your Self-Discipline:

1)      Know yourself and your limits.  Take time to observe yourself and note when you display self-discipline and when you fail to do so.  How rested were you?  What was the environment? Were you well nourished and hydrated? How was your overall health?  A corporate athlete needs to maintain adequate physical health to be able to train self-discipline.  What triggered your giving into a thought or behavior you did not intentionally set out to do?  Set yourself up for success by creating environments both internally and externally supportive to your self-discipline practice. If you need help, ask your friends and family for suggestions.  They often can provide feedback on your behavioral blind spots and self-sabotaging habits.

2)      Clearly define your mission, goal and plan.  Specific, attainable, action steps and timelines are the best insurance to developing your self-discipline.  What must you do next to get one step closer to your goal? Ask yourself, “Is what I am doing right now the best use of my time to get me closer toward achieving my goal?” If not, do what you know you should be doing.

3)       Set increasing self-discipline practice periods. Start with what you feel is a reasonable amount of time to practice your self-discipline by doing something that you know you should do, but don’t really feel like doing.  Say, “I’m going to set a timer to do this for 5 minutes and then do what I feel like doing for 2 minutes and then I’ll come back and do this for another 5 minutes.” Keep track of your times. Gradually increase the amount of time you can practice your self-discipline.

4)      Do what you dread doing most first. Delay doing what you love most to do until last as a reward. Work before play and put first things first.

5)      Eliminate temptations and distractions. You know what tempts and distracts you the most from doing whatever you seek to accomplish.  Eliminate or at least minimize temptations and distractions while your practice your self-discipline tasks.  Focus is a required element in the development of self-discipline.

6)      Honestly confront  rationalizations.  We each know the most effective lies to tell ourselves when we want to avoid doing something we do not want to do.  Learn to identify your excuses and rationalizations and confront them with facts.  Ask yourself, “Is this really what I want?”

7)      Accept responsibility for your choices, thoughts and behaviors.  We each have the power to choose our thoughts and our behaviors.  If we are not happy with our results, we can choose to change our thoughts and behaviors in ways that put us in a more successful position more successful.

8)      Celebrate success…Anticipate failure.  Developing your self-discipline is hard work.  Celebrate each success that brings you closer to your goal.  Also, anticipate that your self-discipline strength will fail you before you want it to.  Don’t beat yourself up when your self-discipline reserve runs out.  Recognize your self-discipline is exhausted, rest and recover. Review what happened and how it happened and learn from it.  The goal is to get back to your self-discipline practice faster and faster each time you fail and not allow backsliding to unduly delay your progress or discourage you.

9)      Share your plan. Sharing your self-discipline improvement plan with someone who cares about you can dramatically improve your chances of success.

10)   Find role models.  Seek out people who have developed their self-discipline and find out what techniques they use to expand their capacity.  Experiment and see if you can incorporate some of their success tips into your development plan.

The most consistently successful people I have met tend to be the most self-disciplined.  They decide what they want to achieve and what needs to be done.  Then they do each step… one at a time.

Now it is up to you.  What do you want to achieve?  What is your plan?  What can you do to get one step closer to your goal? Act, evaluate your progress, decide your next step, and then take it. 

The first and best victory is to conquer self.”-Plato.

Your Comments Welcome!


Let me know what you think.  Please post a comment or share your thoughts and opinions.  Who knows, you might spark someone to fire up his/her life!

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